Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She even gives head with a lisp.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize