thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
