Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
