It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
