so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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