When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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