You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I understand Curling. That high.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
