You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
