problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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