We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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