I'm laying in your front yard are you home
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
