Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
