He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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