god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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