i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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