Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
