margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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