did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
