I got chris browned last night
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize