Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have already put on my inside pants.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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