I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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