went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
