discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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