Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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