I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize