a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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