once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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