Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize