My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
