Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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