It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
