All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
