I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
