Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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