It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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