I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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