The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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