i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
