he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
