just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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