i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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