i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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