Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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