But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
