Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
