There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
