So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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