after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize