hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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