can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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