Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
