You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
