i can't believe i had my finger in that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
