no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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