I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
