I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
