Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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