At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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