turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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