Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
