I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You made out with two different species that night
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize