The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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