where am i from again
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize