i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize