I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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