I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
