I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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