I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
