You really coming over, don't trick.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
