Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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