she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
