Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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