Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
