Michael Bay diarrhea
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's always time for handjobs
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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