seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
