I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
