the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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