I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
