You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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