First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
