The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
